The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Released on November 17, 2017 for the Nintendo Switch, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is an open-world action RPG, set in the mystical Scandanavian-esque medieval land of...Skyrim.

Let's face it: during the last decade, the prospect of getting a AAA, cross-platform title on a Nintendo system has been close to zero. Like my wife, Nintendo has favored innovation over muscle-power, and graphically complex Playstation and XBox games haven't had a snowball’s chance in hell of running on a Nintendo console...until now. For really the first time since the Gamecube-era, Nintendo seems to have an invitation to the cool-kids party, and it's all thanks to Bethesda Softworks. With the commercial promise of the Switch, the convenience-factor of portable versions of its most popular games, and with the help of other developers like Panic Button, Bethesda has populated Nintendo's little wonder with faithful versions of Doom and Wolfenstein II. However, Bethesda has also recognized that it could be worthwhile to dig a little further back into its catalogue. Now, it’s brought its biggest hit of the decade, 2011's The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, to the Switch, as well. But how does this seven-year old game stack up today?

And why is this old man following me?

Back in the heady days of 2011, I remember Skyrim's surrounding positive critical pandemonium, and my other console-owning friends posting memes about how the game had stolen their lives away, but before I snagged a 50% off copy of Skyrim for the Switch from the going-out-of-business Toys“R”Us (R.I.P. Toys“R”Us!) nearest my house last month (thanks, Mitt Romney!), I had never experienced it for myself.
What a steal.
In 2011, Skyrim faced off against another major action RPG, Nintendo's newest The Legend of Zelda juggernaut, the similarly titled Skyward Sword. I have no qualms in saying that Skyrim is a superior game to Skyward Sword. However, in 2017, Skyrim had the misfortune of launching on the Switch next to Nintendo's newest The Legend of Zelda juggernaut, the not similarly titled Breath of the Wild. I have no qualms saying that Breath of the Wild is the superior game to Skyrim, though I am not sure if there is a currently existing game that can claim superiority over Breath of the Wild. That game is pretty solid.
So, Skyrim's seven years old, and it's not as good as the newest Zelda. How is $30 for Skyrim on the Switch a steal?

That depends. How do you feel about stumbling upon an impromptu fight to the death between a giant, two mammoths, and a dragon? 

Skyrim is an awesome game, and different enough from Breath of the Wild to make it worthwhile. Like Breath of the Wild, it is an action RPG set in a huge open world, full of seemingly limitless side-quests, and a main-quest that doesn't even have to be completed. Unlike Breath of the Wild, Skyrim features a meticulous and addictive focus on stat-building.
The player gets to design their character from scratch (I always try to make my character in this type of game look like me...but that's just me), ranging from eye color all the way to chin length, after choosing from differently skilled races. I picked a Redguard, one of a strong, muscular warrior because I have a really inflated sense of my physical stature.
As soon as you create your character, you are tossed right into the action, as the game begins with you on the chopping block, saved at the last second by the unrelated intervention of an evil, fire-breathing dragon. You're off the chopping block, running from the dragon, and the game is wide open from there. Join an army, join a group of thieves, help the local farmer raise his crops, or be like me.

And remember, my character looks exactly like me in real life. Also, you can switch from first to third-person perspective at any time. Sweet.

As an American raised on a steady diet of Indiana Jones and John McClane, my first instinct was to blow off anyone who wanted me to join their little group, and roam solo over Skyrim's sprawling lands. I did complete the game's main quest, figuring out where all these blasted dragons are suddenly crawling from, killing them all, and stopping them from coming into Skyrim. I told the game and its myriad characters, "No, I don't want to join The Companions, no I don't want to join The Blades, no I don't want to join the Imperial Army, no I don't want to join the Rebellion, no I don't care what side you're on." I just wanted to explore Skyrim--a northern land full of great icy heights, beautiful Nordic forests, deep and evil catacombs, and medieval castle towns--and kill all the damn dragons. There's a cool main story, and a seemingly infinite amount of characters to get to know, but if you're like me, and would prefer to enjoy what 50 hours of a game has to offer, then move on to the next, as opposed to enjoying 300 hours of what a game has to offer while watching store shelves fill with new games, you won't bite on all the side-stuff...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Take that previous rambling paragraph as a disclosure. If you want to get fully involved in a game until you can't distinguish it from your real-life, Skyrim can provide that. However, if you're like me, and you just want a kickass, moderate length adventure, Skyrim can deliver that, as well.

Just like Indiana Jones, if he went into the Temple of Doom with the ability to shoot fire out of his hands. 

And playing on those terms, there's still a ton to geek out over. The stats really stole the show for me. As a Redguard, my character is skilled in hand-to-hand combat, but also proficient in magic. There are spells to be learned, whose methods of operation are strewn and hidden across the land. My favorite is a destruction spell that shoots fire out of my hands like a pyromaniac Star Wars Emperor. Any aspect of playing, whether it's attacking with two hands (I also favor warhammers), picking people's pockets, employing archery, getting hit in your armor, using any type of spell (destruction, restoration, illusion, etc.), picking locks, etc., is leveled up with use. When you level up enough facets of your character, you level up as a whole, and can choose whether or not you want to increase your health meter, magic meter, or stamina (which includes increasing the amount of items you can carry). You also get to choose a perk from a bunch of ability trees, like making my fire blasting stronger when I'm scalding dudes with both hands.Wow, that didn't sound right.

Above: everything I just described, plus this Viking demon king I'm about to kill. Also, some people fighting to the side of me in one of the rare instances where the main quest forces you to let some other characters tag along in a mass of sweet, sweet chaos.

To continue a train of thought I actually began in a parenthetical, there are so many items to carry, because there are so many things you can do. There are a billion weapons scattered across the land, many taken from the lifeless hands of your enemies (bandits...the undead...that city guard who looked at you the wrong way), and potion ingredients, and armor materials, and food, and books, and miscellany. Your weapons can be upgraded, enchanted with spells (again I infused mine with fire)...there's just so much to do, and so much customability. Want to just level up your pick-pocketing skills until you are the greatest thief in Skyrim? For some reason, that sounds more sociopathic than me leveling up my ability to burn people to death, but knock yourself out. You can do whatever you like.

Even use magic and a sword at the same time. Even better if that sword is stained in the blood of your enemies.

It looks good, too. You can see a million miles away, even if objects pop-up sometimes. The graphics are the best that 2011 can offer, which, surprisingly, in 2018, is still pretty good. The game runs smoothly, and I can count the times it slowed down on one hand--and those were times of mass carnage. If you put your Switch on the dock and play it on your TV, which I find I am doing less and less, the game looks even more refined. But really, the charm in this package is that such a massive game can be portable. Hey, it sounds great, too. Composer, Jeremy Soule, does some great work here, with big orchestral moments, some great choral pieces, and excellent ambient work when you're making your way underneath midnight Northern Lights. Voice acting and sound effects: top notch.
There are some hints that this game is older, though, and they stand out most when you enter a highly-populated town. Have you ever seen Westworld, that show where people pay to interact in a Wild West theme park full of androids? The park has all these androids programmed to saunter up to guests and promise them the adventure of a lifetime, before leading them on some scripted quest. The artificiality of that is supposed to stand out in Westworld, but not in Skyrim. Any character in the game you walk past will automatically begin speaking to you, generally spilling out their life story, and as I really, really, really don't care unless it will help me to kill all of the dragons, it's pretty humorous, and certainly artificial to hear their voices receding behind me as I ignore them, autobiographical spiels going on and on into the ether. For me, this was the one flaw in the experience, and one that may not have stood out as much in 2011.But as flaws go, there are much worse, and this game is still great, almost a decade on.
So in conclusion.
Skyrim.
Portable.
Giggity.

SCORE: 9.2/10